Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Don't Judge

I want to keep this short because I really, really, really want you to click on the link I'll put at the bottom of this.  This topic has been on my mind lately but I couldn't put into words what I wanted to say.  The post on this blog says it perfectly.

My thoughts on this subject started when one of my kids came home from school a few years ago and was complaining about his teacher and his behavior toward the entire class.  The teacher said something along the lines of, "I don't get paid enough to babysit you."  My child was so upset at how angry the teacher was because he really did like him.  Since I believe in changing myself first before asking someone else to change, we discussed ways he could try and be a better student, be a leader in the class when they started getting out of hand, verbally thanking the teacher for things more often, etc. but nothing seemed to be making a difference over the next few days.

Later that week, I stopped by the school just dropped in and casually asked how it was going.  I asked him if he liked being a teacher and what made him choose that vocation, mostly small talk.  His reply took me by surprise.  He said he never wanted to be a teacher, he wanted to be a fireman, but had his degree and went ahead and got his teaching certificate so he could have a job while he waited for his "real" job.  As it turns out, he was unhappy with the way his life was going and was upset that he felt like he was never going to get that call to be a fireman.  There were some other personal problems that were causing him to be unhappy at the same time.  I addressed my concern with some of the comments he was making and he apologized for taking his frustrations out on the class.  We had a nice talk after that and from then on, there were no further problems and the school year ended on a great note.  

So, when my kids are complaining or whining about a teacher or a friend or a neighbor, I guarantee they are sick of hearing me say, "maybe we don't know the whole story" or "think about what might cause that person to behave that way" or other similar things.  I hope I have impressed on my children the importance of not judging.  It doesn't mean it doesn't happen, but we are trying really hard not to.

I'm not perfect, I've done it myself and I've been judged wrongly by others too.  The important part is to start today to do better and be better.  Don't judge others but also don't be too hard to judge ourselves, especially when we look around and see what everyone else is doing and start comparing.  Heavenly Father knows what we can and can't handle.  I truly believe there is a season for all things and we can't run faster than we are able.  

So, having said that, I want you to check out this story.  I appreciated reading it this morning and I think you will too.  Happy Tuesday!!


  1. I love your post. I can't tell you how much I agree! One thing about counseling others that has changed me for good is that now I realize that EVERYONE has their cross to bear. Everyone has burdens, struggles, and trials, and most of the time, most people around them don't have a clue. I look at people differently now, and really see people differently now. The post you shared the link to made me cry!! There are SOOO many times in my life when I wish I could've worn a sign explaining what was really going on in my life. Makes me want to be a little kinder to everyone around me. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Wow! Thank you! It is so true. I know that some of the things we have gone through have prepared us to help others and recognize the trials they might be "silently" suffering from. Some of the hardest challenges we have been through we were wrongly judged, and even confronted about by leaders... I would have loved to have had a sign around my neck. It hurt so much, and while we are suffering we don't need that extra on top of what we are going through... we just need a loving arm or kind smile to help us through.

  3. Thank you for this post. I've been thinking about this for a long time. It inspired my own blog post and I've told some friends about the story. It touched me in a very real and personal way and I'm hopefully a better person because of it. Thanks Stacy!