Because I Had Children

I remember when I had a ton of little kids at home and people would say "Wow! You look great for having 8 kids!" I would think to myself, "what does that mean?" What does a woman with 8 kids look like? I just wanted to look good. Period. This isn't really about vanity, it's about being who I am. I have five (four plus one SIL) of the most beautiful sisters. They are gorgeous. They have style, they have great hair, they have lovely skin. They are also the kindest women I know. They serve their neighbors, they are fiercely loyal to their families, they fight for what is right, no matter what others might say or do. I might be the oldest of us all, but I definitely envy my younger sisters for their beauty, inside and out. I, on the other hand, don't think I am as lovely as they are. I certainly don't think I'm ugly, just not as beautiful as they are. I don't know if I've ever told them that. I hope they are reading this. I don't th...

In June, I went to my Dr. for a meds check on my anxiety prescription. Back in January, I told him things were going well and I wanted to get off of them asap. I had only been on them for 7 months and he encouraged me to stay on them until summer came. I explained that I had been practicing mindfulness, exercising, self care and learning to say no better but he really wanted to make sure I was in a good place before going off completely. We decreased the dosage as a compromise and that's why I came back in June. I haven't had to take my anxiety pills for several months although teaching during the pandemic did cause me more sleepless nights than it should have. I practiced all I had learned about relaxation and self care and only took a sleeping aid every once in a while. He validated my efforts and told me he was proud of me. Does that sound weird? I don't remember needing so much validation as I do now. It felt good for him to say that because I have worked very hard. H...