Sunday, October 16, 2011

Do you ever want a Do-Over?

Sometimes I get so frustrated with my parenting that I wish I could have a do-over.  Lately I feel that way a lot.  I think is is part of my senior-itis kicking with my graduation only 8 weeks and 4 days away (but who is counting?).  I feel a little consumed by my two classes but at the same time I have this "who cares" type of attitude.  There is nothing stable about my parenting (or my emotional status) lately.  I'm all up in their grills one day and my house is spotless and homework turned in on time and then the next week my house is trashed, my homework is late or not done at all and the worst part is I don't even notice.

It doesn't help that I have tons of external things to blame it on...Jenny's funeral, the pneumonia, the weather, potty training issues (the three year old, not me), etc.  But, the reality is, I am not very consistent.  There you have it people, I have a weakness, it is consistency.  I can do really great one day/week/month and then the next, I have fallen off the wagon.  After a few weeks like I've had, I just want to go back to the beginning and beg for a do-over.  But, we all know that isn't reality.  The reality is that I can blame nobody but myself.

So here I sit, at 11:30 on Sunday night, waiting and praying for morning to come so I can have my own kind of a do-over.  The kind where I say to myself that today is a new day and I'm getting back on track with homework schedules (for everyone, not just me), chore charts, meal planning...everything.  Yes sirree, that is my kind of a do-over since I'm not getting the one I really wanted.  Look out Monday, I'm all over you like stink on a poopy diaper.  I'm even going visiting teaching and it isn't even the end of the month yet:)

4 comments:

  1. I hit my do-over button this past week. I am much happier when I'm more consistent and structured. I've even got a two week meal plan in place (one week down, but still...). What are we doing to celebrate your graduation? Got anything you've been itching to do? Boh, and woo-hoo on the VTing. Your companion should be happy about how consistent and in the ball you are. :D

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  2. I need a do-over daily. You have not only summed up my entire exisitance but made me believe it is possible to use that ctrl z and begin a new tomorrow.

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  3. And do you ever wonder if the whole point is: By grace, I had an epiphany that consistency is important. So now I can look at my life and make a judgement call on, of all the things that I do, where does consistency really pay off? Scriptures, meal time, homework, potty training? Is there a point where consistent only requires 'occurrence' to be consistent and not a strict daily 3:00-5:30 schedule? (as in, hey my kids ate today, who cares if it was dinner at 8:30, and they took care of 3/4 of it on their own! lol)

    Sometimes I think H.F. takes me by the spiritual hand and leads me through some nightmarish situations, just for the purpose of looking back, so I can see how I felt about the whole thing.

    If in reflection I gained something, which I can apply to the future, even if it is only to say, "Sometimes dishes (and laundry, etc) are going to stack up for a few (hours, days . . . ) because I put V.T., a conversation with my kid, and my own mental health above it, perhaps I have accomplished what was needed.

    Forget the do-over, you got through it, and learned a valuable lesson, though maybe the lesson is,
    as a wise woman named Andrya once told me
    "sometimes while potty training, I save money and water, (and being stressed out), if I just throw the underwear away."

    Its all in the new perspective

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  4. You are correct Marnee, it IS all a matter of perspective. Maybe it isn't a do-over as much as it is a start new or begin again or a continue forward. And yes, I throw away poopy underwear regularly.

    Anonymous - sometimes I have do-overs every single day.

    Kristine - My VT partner is the bomb. And yes, we need to do something awesome for my graduation...in January though:)

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