Because I Had Children

I just want to start off by saying that homeschooling and charter schools are not an option for me.  Call me crazy, but I'm not organized enough or disciplined enough to home school and I'm tool selfish to drive my kids to another school when there is one in my very own neighborhood and a bus to get my older kids to theirs.  It doesn't mean I'm anti either of them.  I just am happy where I'm at and have no reason to change.  My problem comes from people thinking that I am ignorant about where I send my own kids as if I haven't researched my options.  It is a topic that comes up on occasion and when it does, I feel like I have to defend myself for my choice.  I'm just going to highlight a few things that have been brought to my attention recently: Safety Several years ago, I asked the head of security at the "other" high school in our area (he is a friend of mine) if he thought there was more problems at my school than at his.  His answer?  ...

Exercise?  Yeah right.  If you read my post about being overwhelmed, you will know what activity got pushed aside this summer.  I'm still struggling from my broken toe too (I know, I should go see the Dr. at this point). For the first time in my entire life, I have felt the struggle to lose excess weight.  Usually when I start a training program, I have no problem running 2-3 miles the first day because being out of shape is different than being overweight.  Ben and I started taking the kids to the high school to run around the track and on the bleachers and I can't even run one lap without walking.  I only got a mile in the other night and that was walking/walking fast.  I can only jog as fast as I can speed walk at this point.  I didn't realize how difficult this extra weight would be to take off.  So guess what I did?  I came home and ate because I was so frustrated.  Apparently I have an eating problem. I have had all kinds ...

When I was a younger mother and my children were much smaller, I had several people regularly tell me they thought I had too many activities going on with each of my children.  I felt like I had everything under control, but apparently I looked like I didn't.  I felt like I was able to get everything in; my church calling, my homemaking responsibilities, volunteer activities, "me" time, plus get my kids to their piano lessons, sports practices and other extracurricular events.  I never once felt like I had taken on too much.  But, I felt like I was constantly having to stand up for myself and prove that I was doing it all and I was doing it just fine.  Never once did I feel overworked or stressed out to the point that I couldn't handle my hectic schedule.  (OK, let's be honest, I had my days, but they were relatively few and far between.) Until this summer happened. I have never felt so overworked and exhausted as I have the last two months.  It ac...

I love parenting books.  Mostly, I take what I like from this book and from that book and combine them into my own style.  I think that is what most people should do.  But, I will say that I agree with almost 99% of what I read in this book. My little sister just had her first baby, a sweet baby girl.  She is the one who recommended this book to me even though my oldest daughter will be 18 years old soon.  I'm so glad I had a chance to read it before she flew the coop and while my other three girls are still young.  Because Marly is so much older, I am going to recommend she read it too because of the data and statistics included are just good to know. I'm going to admit that my husband is a pretty fantastic dad and he already does so much of what the book suggests as far as being a great dad that maybe that is why it made so much sense to me.  The reality is, that nobody is perfect and there is always something we can be doing better.  Th...

In April, I was running a lot.  Here I am marking my mileage at the race. I did it again, I went almost a whole month without posting.  So lame; I guess some of those mountains still have not been conquered.  Here's another mountain I can't seem to conquer...regular workouts.  Since I ran my Ragnar Relay Race back in April, I have gained almost 25 pounds.  I have two pair of pants that fit and I hate one of them.  I feel like a blob too.  I carry most of it in my stomach so I've done a lot of sucking it in lately, but it is driving me crazy. There are these stupid nagging thoughts when I'm in a situation such as this, and it messes with my brain so much, you can't even believe it.  And here is one: If I can't exercise, who cares what I eat?  I hate it when I think like that.  I've been eating a lot lately; crappy food too. I broke my toe several weeks ago and my toe/foot have been miserable since so I am unable to run. ...

Have you seen this video?  One of my all time favorites.   The last few weeks have been overwhelming for me and this video kept running through my mind.  I felt like every time I would get something accomplished, another mountain popped up in its place. I had things like catching up on the books for booster club , getting ready for my ragnar race , my stake calling through LDS Family Services , and my primary class , not to mention housework, meals and running kids everywhere.  Don't even get me started on writing for the newspaper , keeping up with my blog and editing my book.  There were days I didn't know where to begin so I logged into my Facebook and sat there.  I avoided pretty much everything besides the basic needs of my children, like cold cereal and diaper changes.  We did spend some lovely days at the park (avoiding stuff needing done at home), and I did cook on that one night of the week that I trade dinners with my dear frien...

I wish I could remember when it happened, that infamous day when we sat down and divided the household duties between the two of us.  I do know this, it was only in the last few years!  I wish we had sat down earlier in our marriage and set the ground rules before I reached the boiling point and exploded. OK, I didn't really explode, but I was mad and I don't get mad very easily.  I felt like all the time he was spending coaching the kids, working, fulfilling his calling at church, etc. was really putting a damper on his ability to get things done around the house. Nothing specific, just stuff.  And Sunday, my precious day of rest was also turning into his day to nap, but not mine. I have the responsibility of making sure that the entire house stays clean, including our bedroom.  I felt like he needed to be in charge of the bathroom and once it got dirty enough he would start cleaning it.  I acted like a child and refused to shower if the tub was too di...

I feel like I got home from my writer's conference and was so on fire for my writing and then what did I do with all my new energy?  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing. Well, unless you call helping my friends do some editing/critiquing on their work and beta reading for another friend's novel.  I have done tons of laundry, caught up on my house cleaning and then fell into spring break with a thud.  I've gotten almost all the kids to the dentist for checkups and one for a filling.  I shopped for and purchased all the fabric and patterns for Easter dresses and I've spent some quality time at the chiropractor and working on my church callings.   The garden is finally in and the weeds in the front yard are fairly under control. I've done a ton, but I still have some trouble balancing work time and family time.  I don't really ever want to work, but I want to cross this book off my list and get it out there. I feel like once I get caught up, there is just th...

This last weekend, I attended the 20th Annual ANWA Writer's Conference.  It was held in the fabulous Hilton hotel in Mesa, AZ. (The last time I went there was for my junior prom, remember that Trevor?)  I was able to share a room with 3 wonderful new friends which made the cost minimal so I splurged and stayed the night. Some of the members of the Queen Creek Creators There were classes on critiquing, editing, publishing, characterization, magazine writing, freelance writing, pitching and query letters and so much more.  I can't even begin to tell you how fabulous it was.  We mingled with agents and publishers, we ate some delicious food and worked on honing our writing talents. I am ever so grateful to be a part of such a wonderful group of women who are as crazy about writing as I am.  I was in awe of meeting some of my favorite authors in person and getting to know them as friends.  What I came away from the conference was the confidence to move f...

I took the kids to the park today even though it wasn't ideal weather.  I hate being cold and we had to wear jackets and it was so windy.  I sat on the park bench and huddled up, but the weather did not stop my children from taking off their shoes and socks to play in the sand.  They were desperate to play with their buckets and shovels I gave them for Valentines Day.  It got me thinking about how serious I am about getting my exercise in every day or at least most every day and how grateful I am that they are seeing my good example of fitness.  But, am I doing enough to show my kids how important it is to take care of their own bodies? Sometimes my children won't even walk a few blocks to go to their friend's house to play, they are always asking me for a ride.  What is up with that?  They complain about having to walk to and from school and it is merely around the corner from our house too.  I have been so tempted to tell them about how I had ...

I don't know if you have noticed my widget just to the left of this post, but it is for my ANWA writer's Conference coming next week.  I am so stoked.  I'm even staying at the hotel with my ANWA sisters so I can be there to enjoy every single minute of it. Do you like to write?  Do you wish you were a better writer?  Do you have something to say and don't know where to start? I'm not even talking about necessarily having your work published, but that would be a bonus, wouldn't it?  I  joined ANWA when there wasn't even a group in my area.  I got the newsletter every month and wished I lived closer to other women who enjoyed writing.  When I moved to Mesa, I was blessed to be a part of a fabulous group of women who met monthly and encouraged and supported each other in their writing. I've made fabulous friends and learned tons about writing in general.  All I wanted to ever do was work on family history stories and get them written down....

Sometimes I think my children are just really farm animals by the way they graze all day in and out of my kitchen.  The thought of wanting to eat at all times of the day is making me crazy.  I know most of the time it is just pure boredom.  Not because there isn't a million things to do around here, but because sometimes we are just lazy. I realize that I may have contributed to the problem.  When I was in school, there was a lot of times when I said to them, "feed yourselves, I have a paper due in two hours and I just started."  Yes, we ate a ton of pre-packaged food, cold cereal and ramen the last few years.  Gross.  But it was mostly my fault that we got into some bad habits. I will also admit that I sit at this computer and do NOTHING, a lot of the time now.  Yes, I'm checking my e-mails for the booster club stuff that needs done, sometimes I am writing that awe-inspiring blog post, working on my book or editing something for a fellow writ...

I'm like a scrooge when it comes to buying gifts, but I think I've discovered the reason why. I'm too practical. There is very little frill or froof about me and it dribbles down into my gift giving in-ability.  You see, I've never had a lot of money, you know, so I can just go buy "things" because I know someone would enjoy it.  I've pretty much always had to be a penny pincher (and let's make it clear right now that I'm not complaining, cause I think even if I had lots of money, I'd still be pretty tight with it) so I've always had to choose my gifts carefully. I have a problem with buying something cheap just because I need to give something.  I have tons of friends who take their kids to the dollar store and let them pick out whatever they want in order to be able to provide a gift for their sibling or their mom or dad, but I don't want or need anything that costs $1 and/or will break within a few hours of my owning it.  I und...

I hate to shop.  Loathe it.  I dislike it almost as much as wearing anything purple.  But, there is one day of the year that is the best day for me to go shopping.  It is the day I get my state tax refund!!  I use mine to shop for non-food items to replenish my supply so I don't have to shop throughout the year. That is how I choose to spend my refund every year.  I'd like to go on a fancy trip (not that that is a bad choice, just not my choice), I'd like to splurge on something fantastical (I did spend some of it on Marly's senior year sports camp in August), or I'd like to fix up some stuff around the house. For me, I like knowing that almost everything I need is on hand without making a special trip to the Chevron to buy a package of toilet paper. (not that I would ever do that, but you know what I mean) Some of you are wondering why with a family as large as mine, why don't I do the coupon thing?  I think it is too much work and the stuff I get...

Yesterday, I did my annual tax refund year supply stock up shopping at WalMart and Costco (more about that another day).  I rewarded my helpers with pizza and myself with some take out sushi.  It was 1:45 when I ate and I figured that by 4:45 when I was home and ready to go on my run, that I had given myself plenty of time to digest my food.  I was so wrong. I burped and threw up a little in my mouth for the first half a mile and then stopped in some rocks to try and throw up.  Nothing.  If you know how much I hate to throw up, you'll know how difficult that was for me.  But I was miserable and wanted to do my run so I was willing to do whatever it took to feel better.  I continued my run and by the time I hit one mile, I decided that I would do a shorter run today because I felt so crappy. I got to my usual corner and had to make a choice to head home or head out.  I decided to push through it and I headed out on my route to do my entire run as...

I wish I knew where I heard this first, but it was many years ago when my older ones were young.  I'd like to give credit where it is due, but I simply cannot remember. This is the rule of thumb I rely on when my children ask me if they can do something. Always say yes unless you have a good reason to say no. It has worked for me all these years that I thought I would share it with you.  It makes it so much easier when they ask me for permission to do something when both of us know the answer is yes unless I have an excellent reason to deny them. I want my kids to experience anything and everything they can in this life.  I don't want them to be sheltered or under-privileged.  I want them to do things that freak them out (in a good way) and that challenge them to work hard and get what they want. I will give you some actual examples so that you know what I am talking about: Sometimes the littlest ones come to me with those sweet...

I have a problem with becoming frustrated easily.  Some of it is caused by things not getting done in a timely manner by my family, some of it by school administration/teachers, and some of it by just plain old dumb people.  The reality is that I choose how to react to those situations. I have decided that the most effective way to deal with these problems is to keep calm.  I have a "10" rule.  Depending on the circumstance, I either count to 10, wait 10 hours or even 10 days.  Each case is different. If my children are the frustration, I count to 10 before I explode (or at least I try to remember to do that).  I'm not perfect, but generally by the time I slowly count to 10, some of the red hot fire of the situation has been diffused and I am able to think in my head the best possible solution to my frustration.  I can't change who my children are, but I can certainly be responsible for myself and how I respond to those triggers especially with tho...

Can you tell what is on my mind lately?  Yes.  Exercise.  I'm in a weight loss challenge and doing all right.  I'm 13th this week coming from not even in the top 20 last week.  I need to kick it in gear if I want to get into the top 7 by Monday and that will be the half way point.  But that is neither here nor there.  Today I want to talk about one way I think exercise is more fun...and that is with a partner. Overnight hike for girl's camp while pregnant with #8 in 2009 I have lots of training partners, but my favorite is this one, my husband.  We have lots of fun together, hiking, running, and walking. He is my most favorite work out partner, but not because we always do it together, but because he supports me.  When I want to go running at 4 in the afternoon, he does mom duty for an hour or so so I can have my time.  I love it.  He supports me by joining races or even just keeping the kids for two days straight so I can do m...

Exercise is an important part of my life.  My dad has struggled with heart problems for 12 years now.  He had his first heart attack in his 50's.  That is only a few short years from where I am and it has me constantly on guard as to how to better take care of my heart, not only through exercise, but diet as well. Exercise has always been a fundamental part of my life since I was a kid.  I played church softball, volleyball and basketball since junior high.  I ran track, played basketball and was a cheerleader in high school.  I have always remained very active mostly because I am just not a sedentary person, there is just too much to do to spend it sitting on a couch watching t.v. I played team sports, water skiied, repelled, did a lot of walking with friends as I got older and kept myself busy playing with the kids enough that I never felt the need to really "exercise."  That is, until that one day when I broke my ankle back in the summer of 2004...

Sometimes I get caught up in what I'm doing and since I generally lock myself in my office (there is no door to my office, it is a figurative "lock"), sometimes I forget to pay attention to what my little ones are doing.  I mean, there are like 6 other older people in this house, I feel like I have eyes all over the place.  Well, my attention was riveted on a Netflix documentary called Hey, Boo: Harper Lee & To Kill A Mockingbird (Very, very interesting). I was watching it on my computer while doing some crafting (New Year's Resolution see here ) and Skylar came down and asked where Derek was. Panic set in.  Do you know that feeling?  My heart started to pound and my hands started to get tingly. I didn't know where he was and I hadn't seen or heard from him in over an hour.  I knew he was upstairs watching t.v. last I remembered so I ran up the stairs.  I thought maybe he fell asleep watching television or  playing with some toys.  I looke...