Because I Had Children

I feel eternally grateful to have been born a woman. I feel like my opinion is unpopular at times, but spending time this weekend learning more about the journey of Joseph Smith and the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ has caused me to reflect on how much value I have as a woman, especially a woman in the LDS church.  During our trek this week, we watched several re-enactments or vignettes portraying major events that took place after Joseph Smith prayed to know what church he should join. It was touching and thought-provoking as we considered ourselves witnesses to these events and were given questions to think about and ponder on our own.  My favorite vignette was actually a video about Emma Smith, Joseph's wife, and the struggles and trials she endured as she supported her husband and her faith in the Lord. I sobbed as I thought about how much she must have felt when her parents didn't support her marriage and as she lost babies to sickness and disease. How terrify...

It's been three months since my nose surgery to alleviate the headaches. I'm down to one per day still, sometimes two. I notice that dehydration, lack of sleep, and dryness (in my nose) are headache triggers. I now sleep with a humidifier and carry around a saline mist bottle that I attempt to use discreetly. If you ever see me without my water bottle, ask me where it is. My goal is to get 100oz per day but I'm allowing myself one 44oz diet Pepsi per day too for my sanity. The ENT is still confident these headaches are nasal related. Our next working theory is allergies. I've been to the allergist to be tested. I'm moderately allergic to everything in our AZ air so that's super helpful or not. I've been on a prescription nasal spray for about a month now. That doesn't seem to help as much as we hoped, so tomorrow I will start adding another prescription spray and pray for the best.  I'll also start the food journal again soon. The allergy testing did...

Today marks one-month post-surgery. I'm still glad I did it although there have been a few days that I have not been glad.  The headaches are better. I only have about one per day and generally, the pain level is much lower than it used to be. I'll take it. But why am I still having them? That's the question we still need an answer to. I did have a friend suggest that I could be having rebound headaches. I went cold turkey off my Tylenol and ibuprofen and two days later I had the bloody nose from hell. I mentioned it to my doctor and he said he didn't think that was the cause so I'll never know.  My nose is still tender and painful but I'm allowed to blow it again (who thought I would be excited about that?). I am still taking the migraine medicine Gabapentin but I don't think it is working and I hate it. I'll admit that I'm now paranoid to take Tylenol or Ibuprofen and during the day, I often try to wait the headache out before I take one Naproxen a...

I went to a neurologist a few weeks ago and he started me on a medicine called Gabapentin. Here's a link to information about it if you're interested. In a nutshell, it is a seizure medicine that also appears to work on pain, specifically migraines and diabetic conditions. The side effects of this medicine are unfortunate. I have constant mild nausea and an upset stomach right after taking the medicine. Sometimes I feel like my eyes are working but in slow motion and I don't know how to explain it except that it's kinda like vertigo but not as debilitating. The worst symptom is the short term memory loss. I was talking to a friend at my front door the other day and she asked what happened to the tree that used to be in my neighbor's front yard. I explained about it being cut down and how maybe soon I would fix the (this is where I forgot the word) "water thing that spits out the top because the things that fell out of the tree won't clog it anymore". ...

I'm a goal setter, I have always been. I remember my first taste of setting goals was when I turned 12 and I entered the Young Women program at church. We had to set like two goals per month, some little and some bigger. It was really hard but I would sit with my parents or my leader and decide what I needed to work on for that month (or longer for bigger goals). I loved it! I would crank out goals like a mad woman! We had to do a certain number of goals and to earn the Young Women Medallion. I know I had mine a few years ago so it's probably somewhere in my stash of jewelry. I actually finished the program for the second time back in 2020. The program has changed even more since then but I'm so grateful for a lifetime of setting goals.  One of the important parts of setting goals is to write them down, otherwise they are just dreams. Some goals like getting better at reading/studying my scriptures and saying my prayers are goals that I constantly need to work on. I've ...

The saga of the mysterious headaches continue. We are now in year two, month four. To recap, they are focused completely on the left upper corner of my nose/eye. They have progressively gotten worse over time and I generally suffer from 1-4 debilitating episodes per day. These are the kind that make me cry and lay on my bed for 90-120 minutes until it goes away. Those are on the pain scale of 8-10. I do have a day here and there when I only have one episode that gets to pain level 5-6 and I can work through them. I am in a constant state of pain level 2-3 most of the day.  Thank you for your sweet attempts to offer suggestions for relief. If you suggested it, I bet I've tried it. I've been to all sorts of specialists and taken all sorts of medicines, natural and otherwise. At this point, the only thing that truly works is Tylenol Mega Extra Strength and I'm at my max dosage per day. I spread out the Ibuprofin in between Tylenol doses and it keeps the pain at a tolerable lev...

I've been reading more lately (self care) and I wanted to share my reads with you (I'm also leaving reviews on some sites for the authors too).  The Bookseller of Daschau by Shari J. Ryan I loved this book. She was able to weave two stories into one and I'm always captivated by a writer's ability to do that. Germany, 1940 - Matilda and Hans are young and discover they are in love, unfortunately, all Jewish people are being taken from their homes. In an attempt to protect Hans, she hides him in her closet until the safety of their own family makes Matilda's parents choose their own safety and Hans is taken away. Sadly, that's not the end of Matilda's suffering. In America, 2018, Grace has found out she has inherited a bookstore in Dachau, Germany but has no idea who has given it to her. She drops everything and travels to Germany and the story unravels. Ryan did a great job of keeping me on the edge of my seat at every chapter. I loved the hope and love that ...