Because I Had Children

Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement. - Brian Tracy, Eat That Frog I'm a goal setter by nature, but I love it when the whole world (or at least most of it) is setting goals with me.  I can feel it in the air, everybody is inspired and charged up for doing better and making positive changes.  That is what goal setting is all about, right?  Making ourselves better.  My goals last year included writing my novel - check, graduating from college - check, and doing a better job of keeping my house clean - that one is debatable. On the other hand, I hate it when people write resolutions or goals without having a plan to succeed.  What good is an offensive line without a plan as to how to get the ball down the field?  I plan on reaching towards my potential this year with my goals and I'm going to do it play by play, yard by yard.  It may even come down to inches next December, but I'm gonna score a touchdown in the end. So, I offer you the su...

I am so selfish. You see, I am not that great with little children.  Don't get me wrong, I love them, I'm just not patient enough to be the kind of mother I wish I was.  Ok, maybe it isn't that I'm not that great with them, I just don't really enjoy them as much as I would like to.   I'm better with other people's little kids because I only spend a few minutes with them at a time.  I'm so sick of the snotty noses, the crying, the whining, the diaper changing, blah, blah, blah, blah.  It just really isn't fun to me.  Ironic that I've had eight of them, isn't it? On the other hand, even though I'm not a big hugger, I love to kiss and love all over my sweet babies.  I love their wet kisses and their hugs.  I love when I ask, "Who do you love?" and they answer "Mom!"  I love it when I go into their rooms in the morning to wake them up and they are so happy to see me that they practically jump out of bed and into my arm...

There has been a lot of discussion lately in my life from different sources, about feminism.  While doing some research for my literature class earlier this semester, I had to do some reading on this type of literature critique.  Then, on a friend's Facebook, I saw a post about a more contemporary view on feminism.  It really got me thinking about my views on feminism. I just have to say, thank heavens for the women who forged the way for me to live the kind of life I lead.  I'm college educated, I am employed (even if it is just a few hours a quarter), I can drive, vote, and do lots of things women in my stage of life could not do many years ago.  But, I am still "just" a housewife (don't get me started on that term), what I mean is, that I do most of the cleaning, cooking and taking care of the children, and I do it by choice. I don't have a job that requires me to be outside of my home earning a living, I have found ways to make some money here and ther...

As I have been getting "older," several times over the last few years, I have wanted to have a makeover of sorts, you know, buy a few new outfits, wear makeup more often, do my hair every day.  I do good for a few weeks and then I sorta revert back to the "old" me.  I get it in my head that I need to act my age better, or dress the part of a 40 year old.  It isn't that I feel old or even think I need to wear old people clothes, that's not my point.  I just feel like I dress like a 13 year old boy because I wear tennis shoes and t-shirts every day, just like I did in the 8th grade. When I was in the 9th grade, I tried a little harder and it was fortunate that on the days that I cheered for football, we had to wear our "game day" clothes and when I played basketball and ran track, we had to dress up for school on those days. When I was in high school, I loved to go shopping at the thrift stores and buy my clothes there.  My friend Renee was so go...

Woo Hoo!! Yeah for me!!  I did it!  I finally graduated from college.  I am proud and embarrassed at the same time to say that it took me 23 years and 6 months from the time I started back at Rick's College in the fall of 1989 to get me a Batchelors degree from ASU with a degree in English Literature.  It literally took a village to get me to this point; schools, teachers, friends, Facebook and especially my immediate and extended family. I attended several schools; Rick's College, MCC, Rio Salado, a school in Albuquerque, but I can't for the life of me think of the name but it is now called Central NM Community College, AZ Dept of Real Estate school and then ASU.  Yes, that is a lot; I don't recommend it. I went to school off and on for several years, between having kids #s 1,2,3,4, and 7 & 8.and jobs and helping Ben finish his degree, it was hit or miss what years I went.  I was pregnant a lot in college. I had tons of people help me with bab...

I am no genius, but I learned a long time ago that I hate that smell of onions that lingers on my hands for days after I cut up even just one.  Yes, I could wear gloves, but I don't.   We use a lot of onion around here, sometimes chopped, sometimes in strips, but whatever, we use a lot of it.  Since I mostly use it for cooking, I cut them all up at one time and stick them in the freezer.   When I need a cup of chopped onions for a recipe I'm cooking with, I just bang the bag on the counter and dump out what I need.  The same goes for peppers.  I don't eat them raw...ever, but I love them cooked.  I cut them into strips and freeze them too.  I have several freezer bags full in my fridge and I probably go through a few gallons of onions and peppers every other month.  At least that is when I go get more and start chopping.  I do always leave one red onion and one yellow out so if I need them cut up for a salad, I have them. When I find a g...

You know how it is when you have a baby?  You are so relieved to have it out of you that within a pretty short time frame, you feel like you could conquer the world?  You can put on your own socks and shoes, sleep on your stomach, sweep more than just the major crumbs on the floor, vacuum, etc.  Well, the day after my last final at school, I did just that, I got movin' on all kinds of stuff around here, you know, a lot of the things I wrote I said I would...just not all of them. Within a day or two, I was exhausted, worn out and too tired to care.  Then I started to read.  Well, that took my laziness to a whole new level.  It wasn't until I finished the Hunger Games series that I was able to get anything done.  Since then... I did get something like 30 quarts of beans and chicken bottled, my deep freezer thawed and cleaned, the garage straightened, the old non-working fridge in the garage hauled away, bedroom cleaned, shopping done, house decorated...

I’m back, and I did it.  I wrote a whole novel of 50,111 words in 30 days, 28 to be exact because I finished two days early.  I don’t want to give out too many details but this story has been in my head for months now and I needed to get it down on paper (or in the computer, depending on how you look at it).  It is a story of a woman who struggles with post partum depression and her incredible journey to recovery.  It was an amazing experience as I wrote late at night, early in the morning, sometimes instead of eating or cleaning and certainly a lot of writing instead of doing homework.  (Did I mention I have senior-it is really bad?)  Well, I’m glad I had NaNoWriMo to help me over the November blues.  As I sit here today with one final done and one more tomorrow, I find myself wandering around the house wondering what to do next.  That is my next topic, my imminent graduation.  It is right around the corner on the 15th.  I am proud to ...

There are about 5 weeks left in this semester and I have tons to study for as I near the finish line.  I'm a glutton for punishment too, because I've chosen to participate in the NaNoWriMo!  Don't know what that is?  That's ok, I'm fairly new to it myself.  It stands for National November Writing Month and the goal is to write a novel in 30 days.  Think I can do it?  Of course I can.  Will it be a best-seller?  Doubtful.  But, I can cross one more thing off my bucket list.  My goal is to produce 2000 words per day towards the novel.  I've only got a few more hours of daylight so I better get busy.  I guess my point is that I'm checking out for most of the month and will be back in December.  I may post some updates here and there to let you know how it is going.  I might even ask for your help.  See you in 30 days!! Check it out!   http://www.nanowrimo.org

As you can tell from the last family picture above, I don't like to do things too ordinary.  I like to live life big...huge even.  So, this is my request to you, my beloved readers.  I need to get my graduation picture done soon so it can be included in my Christmas/New Years/Valentine card (depending on when I actually get around to mailing it).  I need your thoughts and suggestions because this needs to be epic.  The photo shoot could include just me or me, Ben and the kids, or me and my family and my parents.  Lots of options.  We will all be wearing maroon/gold and I will be in my cap and gown.  I would like it to be on ASU's campus somewhere so that it is obvious where we are.  Think about props, poses, location, etc. Ready?  Go.   I'm waiting.  Literally. I'm sitting at my computer right now waiting to hear what you have to say about this.  Think of something and get back to me. Note:  I do not want to ever en...

I know I just blogged recently about setting goals, but since I found this contest and wanted to enter, I figure I'll share some of my bucket list items with you.  I have tons, but here are my top 15: 1.  Graduate College.  I know, I've already talked about this one, but I can't wait to cross it off my list!  7 weeks and counting... 2.  Serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints .  I have the potential to send off 7 more missionaries before I can go, but I will do it.  It will be awesome to serve with Ben. 3.  Hike the Grand Canyon.  We keep planning a summer trip, but babies, missionaries, time constraints and money have kept us from our goal.  I want to do it soon so that I can helicopter my dad and mom in to stay with us then helicopter them out. 4.  Learn to play the harp.  I really want to take lessons, but buying the harp is the expensive part.  Guitar is my second choice and I might ...

It bothers me when people don't know when I am being sarcastic or not.  When I'm talking to you face to face, it should be fairly obvious by my facial expression, hand gestures, tone of voice, etc.  I struggle with the written word and how to use sarcasm appropriately when I write.  So, a few months/years ago (I have no idea when), I invented the sarcasm meter for Facebook.  Yes, I did.  I wish I would have patented it or sold my idea to Mark Zuckerberg because maybe I would be rich today, but oh well. Here is how it works.  If you are saying something extremely sarcastic, you should put a (5) at the end of said statement.  If you are completely serious but are concerned that your comment may be taken sarcastically, then you put a (0) at the end.  Obviously, if you are somewhere in the middle, you can choose numbers 1-4 to show your level of sarcasm. While I find that I am pretty good at sarcasm, I realize that sometimes it can be taken wrong ...

My dad, Drew and Skylar Several of my friends confirmed it today on Facebook so it must be true.  Now I wish I had a picture of me being the cool mom so I had proof.  I will let the sunburn on my arms and neck be my witness to those that see me. I went golfing today with two of my boys and their Grandpa.  Poor hubs had to work today and well, someone had to do it.  I'm just happy they asked me.  Maybe I have always been cool to them and I just didn't know it. Ben asked me to go golfing with him when Drew was just a baby.  I went and fell in love with the game that very day.  Of course, it doesn't hurt that lots of people think Ben looks just like Phil Mickelson and I think he is a hottie.  But, I knew (hoped) that ahead of me were many long years of pregnancies and nursing babies.  I told him that I had so much fun, I knew it would be an activity we could do together after I was done with kids so I could actually spend some time enjoyi...

Sometimes I get so frustrated with my parenting that I wish I could have a do-over.  Lately I feel that way a lot.  I think is is part of my senior-itis kicking with my graduation only 8 weeks and 4 days away (but who is counting?).  I feel a little consumed by my two classes but at the same time I have this "who cares" type of attitude.  There is nothing stable about my parenting (or my emotional status) lately.  I'm all up in their grills one day and my house is spotless and homework turned in on time and then the next week my house is trashed, my homework is late or not done at all and the worst part is I don't even notice. It doesn't help that I have tons of external things to blame it on...Jenny's funeral, the pneumonia, the weather, potty training issues (the three year old, not me), etc.  But, the reality is, I am not very consistent.  There you have it people, I have a weakness, it is consistency.  I can do really great one day/week/mont...

I saw the Disney movie Secretariat at the movie theater when it first came out months ago, I even paid full price.  If you know how cheap I am, you’ll know how much I wanted to watch this movie.  I was hoping it would uplift and inspire me.  Secretariat was that kind of movie. If you are not familiar, it is the story of a woman who takes over the business of running her father’s horse breeding/racing farm due to the death of her parents.  She does what she needs in order to succeed, even in the most difficult of circumstances.   What I loved most was seeing the determination and at the same time, the uncertainty in Penny as she had to choose between living this dream or not.  After two years of living a dual life, late one night, her husband questions her ability to keep up such a tremendous pace.  Her response stuck with me when she replied, “When I went off to college, I felt like that colt, full of promise, full of adventure, like I could make...

I'm so blessed to have a stake calling in my church that allows me to work with LDS Family Services .  Each month, we are inspired and uplifted with information regarding our calling.  Today was not unlike any other meeting, but this topic has been weighing on my mind as I wonder who in our area could benefit from my services.  Each stake (geographical boundary that include 8-12 congregations/wards) has an agency representative assigned to them so the information I am presenting is available to all, members and non-members alike.  This post might be a little long, but it barely scratches the surface of all there is to say about this topic so I hope to include more later. I wanted to give a little background on my experience with adoption and why I feel so blessed by it.  My husband was adopted, as well as his 6 siblings, I had the sweet experience of watching someone very close to me place her baby for adoption (and that is a fabulous story in itself ), and I r...

Vance age 4 I remember sending off my oldest to kindergarten and knowing that his world was about to be bigger than the four walls surrounding our home.  It was with a terrific amount of strength and faith that I sent him out in to the world, so to speak.  I knew that from here on out, my opinion wouldn’t always be the one he counted on, that the world was about to have its part in helping me raise my boy.   I have wondered and worried every new year as I sent him off on a new phase, if I taught him enough to be able to weather the storms of life with a sound knowledge of why he is here on this earth and what he needs to do to be successful in his journeys.  Every single one of my kids gets the same worries as they start a new school year or in his case, a new phase in his life. About every August I shed more than a few tears as I send my children off on their next new adventure; middle school, high school, college, full time employment, etc. At the end of every ...

I want to keep this short because I really, really, really want you to click on the link I'll put at the bottom of this.  This topic has been on my mind lately but I couldn't put into words what I wanted to say.  The post on this blog says it perfectly. My thoughts on this subject started when one of my kids came home from school a few years ago and was complaining about his teacher and his behavior toward the entire class.  The teacher said something along the lines of, "I don't get paid enough to babysit you."  My child was so upset at how angry the teacher was because he really did like him.  Since I believe in changing myself first before asking someone else to change, we discussed ways he could try and be a better student, be a leader in the class when they started getting out of hand, verbally thanking the teacher for things more often, etc. but nothing seemed to be making a difference over the next few days. Later that week, I stopped by the school just...

A week later and still coughing... It is hard to believe it has been 10 years since "that" day.  I can remember it clearly in my mind, especially recalling all those images from the news as we were glued to the television for days and weeks.  But, in light of that situation and the tragedy that it was, I have some good memories of that day. We woke up that morning very early so we could all do our traditional birthday party in bed for Marly, who was turning 7 that day.  We sang the Happy Birthday song, we opened presents, then everyone got dressed and came down for ice cream and donuts.  After morning scriptures and family prayer, I sent everyone off to school.  It started off as a wonderful day. Shortly after, someone called me and told me to turn on the television to the news.  I could hardly believe what I saw.  I made a quick call to Ben who had just arrived at his office.  They turned on the big screen at work and just watched.  I ...

It has been a rough 3 weeks as I try to recuperate from my bout of pneumonia.  I'm still not done healing and I can't seem to kick this nagging cough.  You would think 12 days of antibiotics would heal me pretty effectively, but I was told to give it a good 6 weeks to be back to "normal."  Hmmm, who has time for this?   Anyway, in the meantime, I have been trying to rest and that means I have slept a lot.  So, no recent blog posts.  I hope to rectify that starting today, and that is the importance of continuing your education or becoming a life-learner. You don't have to go sign up for classes at the local college, but if you have a desire to get a degree and it is a good time for you to pursue that then by all means DO IT!!  I'm in my last semester at ASU and I have senior-itis really bad.  So bad that I may have lost my desire to wear those special tassels with my gown at graduation that says I had a super great GPA.  Yes, it is down ...

One of my most favorite things I learned about when I was in high school seminary was the principle of “likening the scriptures unto myself.”  I wouldn’t say that I am a scriptorian by any means, but I do love it when I read the scriptures and can apply it directly to my life.  While studying my Personal Progress goals recently, I came across this scripture and I just knew it was something I needed to directly apply to me, as a woman, a mother, and a wife because  I have so much to work on.   And, when you need guidance, what better place to turn to than the scriptures?  I’ll put my notes in red after each verse that I applied to myself.  I’d love to know how you would apply any of these verses to yourself. Proverbs 31:10-31 10  ¶Who   can   fin d   a   virtuou s   woma n ?   f or   her   price   is   far   above rubies.   I need to value myself and have confidence in my role as a woman,...